I often meet with families who are struggling with the issue of a parent who has dementia. I know this feeling so well, as I spent ten years helping my dad care for my mother. It was hard for me, living one thousand miles away, to recognize how she was deteriorating and the strain it put on dad. And he, as most caregivers do, covered up her limitations… even to me. Early on, mom would say “I feel like I’m going into a dark hole and can’t get out.” She knew her diagnosis but, with time, lost sight of the cause of her problems. Dad felt that it was his duty to care for her. He told me, “Your mother was totally dedicated to making the best home for you girls and me and now it’s my turn to do this for her.” Luckily, I had a friend who was volunteered with the Alzhiemer’s Association, and she helped me learn about options. With time, this helped me to guide my parents to select a continuum of care. Through the respite program there, Dad got the breaks in caring for my mom that he so desperately needed, allowing him to still play golf with his buddies keeping him happy and well. And eventually, mom moved into a memory care assisted living right on the same campus so they each got the best care and support for this hard journey.